#1 Parenting Workshop

Creating Healthy Boundaries for Children Parenting Workshop   Sept 4th, 2016
亲子教育工作坊– 为孩子建立健康的界线


Definition for Reasonable Limits / Boundaries: 合理的界限/界线的定义

The Core Emotional Need for Reasonable Limits can be defined as giving our children a sense of right and wrong, a sense of boundaries, the tools they need to get along in the world, and how to work well with others.

合理的界限的核心情感需求可以被定义为,给予我们的孩子分辨对与错的能力,界限感,以及他们如何在世界中相处,与他人很好地合作所需的工具。


How to Create Healthy Boundaries for Children?如何为孩子建立健康的界限

Starts with Your Marriage: Be United in Your Boundaries从你的婚姻开始:在你的界线方面达成一致

  • Choose the area/s for boundaries选择需要界线的地方
  • Listen to each other’s point of view without judgement聆听彼此的观点,不给予批判
  • Seek to understand the difference of opinion and why it is important to the other person寻求了解观点不同之处,以及为何它对对方如此重要
  • If you disagree, keep discussing calmly, and come to a compromise that you both can accept假如你不同意,冷静的讨论,互相妥协直到双方可以接受

Areas for Setting Boundaries:需要建立界线的地方

 Preschool Level学前阶段

  • Basic safety基本安全
  • Good sleeping and eating habits好的睡眠和进食习惯
  • Sharing with siblings与兄弟姐妹分享
  • Appropriate way to display emotions以适当的方式表达情绪
  • Appropriate words and behavior适当的用词与行为

 Primary Level小学阶段

  • Balance between work and play. For a child, play is their form of work (learning).工作与玩乐之间的平衡。对孩童来说,玩乐是他们的工作(学习)方式
  • Safety issues – strangers, social risks安全问题–陌生人,社会风险
  • Friends: wise choices and ways to say “No”朋友:有智慧做选择,以及说“不”的方式
  • Hand-phone, computer, and social media手机,电脑以及社交媒介
  • Sharing with siblings与兄弟姐妹分享
  • Appropriate way to display emotions以适当的方式表达情绪
  • Appropriate words and behavior适当的用词与行为

 Secondary Level中学阶段

  • Healthy Independence and Privacy健康独立与隐私
  • Continue from Primary:延续小学阶段:
  • Balance between work and play. For a child, play is their form of learning.工作与玩乐之间的平衡。对孩童来说,玩乐是他们的学习方式
  • Safety issues – strangers, social risks安全问题–陌生人,社会风险
  • Friends: wise choices and ways to say “No”朋友:有智慧做选择,以及说“不”的方式
  • Hand-phone, computer, and social media手机,电脑以及社交媒介
  • Sharing with siblings与兄弟姐妹分享
  • Appropriate way to display and express emotions以适当的方式显示及表达情绪
  • Appropriate words and behavior适当的用词与行为

Art of Creating Healthy Limits建立健康界限的艺术

  • Age appropriate和年龄相符
  • Don’t be overly controlling不要过于操纵
  • Don’t be overly permissive不要过于纵容
  • Don’t be overprotective不要过于保护
  • Don’t be punitive and conditional不要带有刑罚和条件
  • Quite place to talk在安静的地方谈论
  • Be specific about the area and expectation对于领域和期望要明确具体
  • Reasonable consequences that can be enforced可执行的合理后果

Enforcing Boundaries执行界线

  • Age appropriate和年龄相符
  • Quick to enforce – don’t wait 及时执行–不要等
  • Quiet place to talk在安静的地方谈论
  • No yelling and display of angry temper不喊叫并显示愤怒的脾气
  • Appropriate and agreed upon consequences适当的和约定的后果
  • Watch out for emotional manipulations留意情绪的操控
  • Walk away if needed (when child is angry)若需要可离开(当孩子发怒)
  • Always end up assuring of your love常常以爱的保证做完结

Thermometer: Children’s responses when we have healthy boundaries温度计:当我们有健康的界线时,孩子的反应

  • They challenge me in a respectful and loving manner when I get out of control, such as when I am angry or impulsive.当我情绪失控,生气或冲动时,他们以尊重和爱的态度来挑战我。
  • They guide and encourage me to persevere with a task even when I feel frustrated.即使我对一项任务感到烦躁沮丧,他们引导和鼓励我坚持下去。
  • They challenge me when I get out of line in my behaviour and words.当我在行为和言语上越界时,他们挑战我。
  • They expect me to be wise when choosing my closest friends, and to be able to say “No” to some of my friends when the need arises.他们期望我明智的选择我最亲密的朋友,在必要的时候能够对我的一些朋友说“不”。
  • They encourage me to consider multiple factors to avoid making a rash decision.他们鼓励我要考虑多种因素,以避免做出草率的决定。
  • They guide me when I do things and say words that would hurt others.当我做事或说话会伤害他人时,他们指导我。
  • They say “no” when it is the best for me, in a firm, but not in a harsh way.当情况对我是最好的前提下,他们以坚定但不严苛的方式跟我说“不”。
  • They do not let me have my own way all the time.他们不会任由我每时每刻随心所欲。
  • They expect me to be responsible and contribute to the well-being of our home, such as by doing chores.他们期望我有责任感,并有助于我们家的福祉,比如做家务等。

 

Video of role play: Father & daughter setting healthy boundary

Healthy Boundaries with Kids from Free Life on Vimeo.

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